3 Signs Your Guy is Losing Interest

Relationships have a natural ebb and flow. Like everything in life, there are good times and bad. These are normal, and in and of themselves they don’t mean much. But, also like lots of things in life, relationships often aren’t permanent, and understanding when one is winding down can save you a bunch of pain and grief.

Is your guy losing interest in you? Maybe. Here are three things to look for, and what they might mean.

1.Things have been “tough” at work lately

If you’ve been hearing this a lot lately, it means one of three things: First, it may mean your guy actually is having a hard time at work. He may be in the middle of a project that feels consuming to him, and he’s putting in extra time and effort to see it through. These things do actually happen. But, you and I know they don’t happen as often as we’d like you to believe.

Second, he’s got something else going on in his life, and he’s either not ready or doesn’t want to discuss it with you. Now, for the 100% of you who just made the leap there must be someone else, you’re probably right. But, that’s not a certainty. It’s also possible that your guy is feeling ill and is scared and confused, or, it may be that he’s had a great idea, but he hasn’t fleshed it out yet, and doesn’t want to sound like an idiot when he does talk about it with you. The takeaway here is, while it’s possible he’s completely innocent, chances are he’s not.

Third, he’s losing interest in you. Being busy with work is a standby excuse for guys. In our simple minds, it seems totally plausible and has the added benefit of making us sound good. We think. Most of the time the reality is we just haven’t thought things all the way through, or are too cowardly to talk openly about it.

2. His appearance takes a nosedive

Don’t get confused here, or read too much into this. When you and your guy were getting to know each other, we’d bet you spent extra time on your hair, your makeup, and the clothes you chose to wear. So did he except for, in some cases, the makeup. It’s natural as comfort levels grow to worry a little less about impressing your partner, so if you think he’s gotten more casual, maybe so have you.

On the other hand, if your guy has gone from showering every morning to, say, Three times a week around Noon, there could be an issue. There is a real difference between being more comfortable as time and relationships progress and letting oneself go. The latter is a pretty good indicator things aren’t great between you. He realizes, at a basic level, that not bothering to bathe, for example, reflects poorly. Subconsciously, he’s making himself less attractive to you so that you, too, will start to lose interest. He doesn’t realize it, but it’s happening. 

3. He’s not asking questions

Now we’ve reached the giveaway, because few people are intelligent or insightful enough to control this. In fact, most people don’t realize they’re changing. Guys by nature are curious, and they tend to ask a lot of questions for two reasons: first, they really do want to know the answers; second, asking questions means not talking about themselves, something most guys who don’t happen to have narcissistic tendencies don’t want to do. 

Because it happens without us realizing it, if a guy stops asking questions about your day, how you’re doing, what you want to do, and, yes, even what you’re thinking, he’s losing interest. It may be he has developed an interest in someone else or that a bigger issue has come along. Either way, it’s probably not your fault, but it is unlikely to change until you’ve given up and left. At that point, there’s little doubt he’ll be jolted and interested in giving you attention again, whether you want it or not. 

All these changes can mean something else. It’s entirely possible your guy hasn’t lost interest in you at all, and he really is busy. Say it with me out loud, and you’ll see how reasonable it sounds: I’m having a really tough go of things at work and need to make a good impression, so I’m only bathing twice a week, and I care a lot about your day, but I’m too darned tired to ask about it. See? Nothing to worry about! It could also be that you’re reading way too much into the situation and are seeing things that aren’t really there. It happens. To everyone. 

Don't jump to conclusions

So before you reach any conclusions, give yourself a little time to think things through objectively. Ask yourself tough questions, and make decisions based on what you observe, not what you assume. At the end of the day, guys are cowards about relationships. We’ll come up with a million laughably pathetic excuses if it means we can avoid having an uncomfortable conversation. Instead, we give you an unfair roadmap. It’s the only way we get to play the victim when you finally see the writing on the wall. 

The other explanation for all this weird behavior? He’s planning and saving for a (ring, vacation, something profoundly special), and he doesn’t want to spring it on you until it’s perfect.